Blueberry Pie

Original Submission for the Experiment and Tradition Module:

Blueberry Pie

A velociraptor enters my diner, shaking its head
it ordered a blueberry pie this morning
when he got it home he realized
it was undercooked.

I apologized,
feeling awkward while
it explained that today was his only day
off and now it was wasted.

I noticed that its claws were filed
To a blunt edge
It tapped them on the counter
while I boxed up another pie.

Apologizing again, I watched it leave
his tail swinging slowly
back and forth
still shaking his head.

Now with Gary's revision suggestions:

Blueberry Pie

A velociraptor enters my diner, shaking its head
it ordered (wrong verb tense or change "enters" to past tense) a blueberry pie this morning
when he got it home he realized
it was undercooked.

I apologized,
feeling awkward while
it explained that today was his only day
off and now it was wasted.

I noticed that its claws were filed
To a blunt edge
It tapped them on the counter
while I boxed up another pie.

Apologizing again, I watched it leave
[his](need that?) tail swinging slowly
back and forth
still shaking his head.

INteresting, Carol. There's medicine for velociraptor issuues. You don't need to suffer:) Again, review my comments and suggestions for direction.
Gary

Final Submission:

Blueberry Pie

A velociraptor entered my diner, shaking its head
it ordered a blueberry pie this morning
when he got it home he realized
it was undercooked.

I apologized,
feeling awkward while
it explained that today was his only day
off and now it was wasted.

I noticed that its claws were filed
To a blunt edge
It tapped them on the counter
while I boxed up another pie.

Apologizing again, I watched it leave
tail swinging slowly
back and forth
still shaking his head.