Shears

This is the poetry assignment from the Introduction to Poetry module

Original submission:

Shears

They are reminiscent
Of something you’ve seen on the Discovery Channel.
The powerful jaws of a crocodile
Consuming its prize

Your fingers manipulate them quickly
Slicing and cutting with ease.
They are like the crocodile’s jaws
Traumatic, terrifying, and tragic.


Now with Gary's revision suggestions:

They are reminiscent do you need this word? I like it better w/out reminiscent.
Of something you’ve seen on the Discovery Channel. a lot of good this reference does for me :)
The powerful jaws of a crocodile
it consumes its prize

Your fingers manipulate them quickly again, do you need this??(them quickly)
Slicing and cutting with ease. consider getting rid of "and"
They are like the crocodile’s jaws
Traumatic, terrifying, and tragic. good sounds repetition

Again, Carol, consider my comments and suggestions for direction. Plus, I'd like to know why every new line uses upper case letters? That's an old fashion format by today's standards.
Gary

This is the final poem:

Shears

They are something
you will see on a nature show.
The powerful jaws of a crocodile
it consumes its prize.

Your fingers manipulate
slicing, cutting with ease.
They are like the crocodile’s jaws
traumatic, terrifying, and tragic.